Dear Waiyaki: Women & Good Hair

Dear Waiyaki,

Your auntie Nyawira and I are headed to get our hairs did at our favorite salon. I know you are just sitted in your Huggies rolling your eyes, wondering why I am telling you this. Well Master Waiyaki, cushion your smooth behind on your favorite spot in your cot and allow your Mama to inform you.

Mwanamke ni sura mzuri na akili timamu.

A lady is an all-rounded Superman. Superman fights crime and saves humans from terror. A lady does that, and tries to keep the hair on her head intact so as to attend a meeting on how to implement the use of non-pollutant fuels on means of transport in developing countries. She is not perfect but she tries to keep those she cares about, as well as herself sane for the next day. She holds dearly the core values of family and holds bible to decency. A lady tries to keep her outward appearance and inward beauty balanced, though it is already hard enough to keep her car looking neat like her bedroom is or viceversa.

Now that I have that out of the way, let me tell you the importance of good hair on a lady. Good hair is an investment. Something that runs in her head at least twice a week. This {at extremes} is during the start of the week like,

” Damn, my hair looks _______!”

… and at the end of the week like,

“Wololo! My hair looks _______!”

{Ladies, fix in whatever you find suitable}

A lady must think of her hair! If you bring one home as a testimony that she hardly thinks about hers, you will get the discipline of your life, irregardless of the Children’s Rights at the time. Good hair conveys confidence, stature, care, protection and freedom. Why protection? People protect their property. The property they care about. If she cares about her hair, her body, she will protect it. Her body is God’s Temple son! She better take care of it. Why freedom? Because this lady (after thinking about it) lives and expresses herself as free as her hair is. If she braids on tight braids 365 days a year and exudes an uptight aura, well you have your answer. If she maintains a free, well-moisturized mane and always smiles at the clever and sweet nothings that you whisper in her ears, know you have amazing charm and her hair is amazingly free

Hair is THAT important. When people lose hair from different circumstances and reasons such as illness, mere bad haircuts or even personal choices, there is a visible reaction of loss, passing. And that is why I want you to know that a woman who takes care of her hair, which is not only part of her outward appearance, takes care of other important parts of her being. Her emotional being, sanity & personality. When you find a lady who speaks well, thinks fast and intelligently, is focused & who (looks as if she) takes care of her hair and her appearance, she my son, is a keeper. Yes, there are other important factors but the above are prerequisites I will not be letting a ka-weird looking untidy girl in my house in the name of having ‘parambulated’ your heart.

If she takes care of herself, her family & her circle, she can take care of you. Of course she will not come close to taking care of you like I will [DUH!] but I believe you get the drift. Before I forget, you will know how to take good care of yourself beforehand. You must have an S.I unit son! Just sayin’.

Your Grandmama Wandia, Auntie Nyawira and I are all Nappy Heads, so that is why I write with a bit more emphasis. Like Marcus Garvey said, we choose to remove the kinks from our brains and not our hair

In other news, this week I consumed a lot of Butternut Pumpkins to help my bones grow strong so that you may not break them when you decide to move in.

Godspeed,

Mama Waiyaki.